today for lunch, i walked past some eco-friendly sign saying that if each person used one less napkin a day, rainforests would be saved, and tons (literally, the 2000 pound ones) of paper would be conserved daily.
i used 14 napkins as i tried to eat my stupidly made deli sandwich. the lunch lady deliberately put all the ingredients in the crevice of the bread and smashed them together, creating a huge mess. now, while the average person would blame the lunch lady for our midday ecodisaster, i take full credit. i am wrecking the rainforests and polluting the earth. and you can't stop me.
seriously, this was actually just a lame (and failed) mental attempt to hide the fact that i sat alone again at lunch. hailey, it may not bother you but it bothers me, i don't know why. in the morning for breakfast, i'm studying so it doesn't matter, but when there are 3429587974 people in the lunch room and i'm still alone, i feel like a failure. i still don't know why. i shouldn't care, i suppose, but this just reiterates the fact that i'm going to have nobody to share my engineering success with. is it really harder to make friends than succeed at being an engineer?
oh, and that Taoist book i'm reading basically agrees with me and says being stupid and not worrying about things will lead to a happy life and no worries. dumb people do this daily and apparently are happy, is there no other way??? (i thought about cap-locking that last phrase.)
i do have the foresight to realize, however, that THAT is life's challenge. if i find that last thing, that's game over. when i've achieved that, my life will have everything it "needs." (in other words, what i wanted it to contain: no stupid people, no choosy people, success, minimal worries. entertainment.)
as of now, my awesome foresight is doing me no good and i am quite depressed.
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