i don't know why

i came here to unleash my thoughts into a safe place, as this isn't really safe, but i guess it's true that i can say whatever i want here. i don't know how to describe how i'm feeling about school and starcraft and not having an entire life plan like mr. cone showed us how to create in 12th grade. i can't believe the people of the administration would also rather just push away responsibility to the students and not enforce their own policy about keeping records of the students grades. the word stupid keeps coming up, so i'm going to type it out of my hands: stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. there. phew. anyway, the people there are strangely... invisible. i think they might not be fully human. the way the woman looked at me when she took my appeal... was creepy, to say the least. at least i will pass anyway and give them the middle finger as they tell me "i told you so, just try harder, it isn't our job to fix things, it's all on the student who has to pay all the fines and tuition just to be competitive in the job market even though you don't actually learn any new skills in college." negativity gone. (yeah, right.) hmm... i don't know why i thought this would help, but it didn't even help. things aren't worse in my head, but they aren't fixed. i wonder what it will take. at least i have the outlet.