I was scared s***less this morning. To say I was anxious would be a sick understatement. I even took some music to help me calm down, but by the time I'd been pushed from room to room on the hospital bed my worst fear had been realized(being useless/helpless). I hated the feeling of NEEDING medication and NEEDING be pushed from room to scary room. (Some rooms were nice and cheerful, but the guy pushing me around was extremely creepy and scary, especially when you're about to have the bones in your feet shaved down.)
Also, they only apparently shaved the bones on the ball of each foot down, I guess breaking the bones wasn't necessary. The big right toe was "corrected." Don't know how that fits into what really happened. However, the doctor and the nurse were both cool and cut the tension a lot. :) All I remember is going into the final room with serious tension turning slowly into mild tension, then waking up in a different room feeling EXTREMELY comfortable and warm under some sheets. The foreign-ness of the people before hand were drastically contrasted with the amiable asian lady who eased me back into consciousness.
It's about 3 hours after the surgery which started at eleven and took 31 minutes per foot, so it's 4:14pm right now. Apparently anesthesia takes tons of your hydration from you, so we went to starbucks afterwards, possibly the greatest thing we could have done.
I wish I could have blogged in the hospital to more accurately describe the feelings of fear I experienced pre-surgery.
Another interesting point, nobody in my family seemed to care yesterday (when I started to feel some anxiety) but now everybody's being really nice to me, and asking how it went and that sort of thing. It seems strange that there was such a change of heart. Maybe they knew I could handle it, but earlier this morning I really felt like ripping the IV out and running screaming from the room. Right before the lady said I couldn't take my music into the surgery I nearly cried, not because of the loss of music, but because of the strange/newness of the situation. Generally I get into "high stress" situations (doing timed sprints for some coach or giving a speech) and come away smiling and satisfied, but this was too much. I was going to be helpless while people pulled my limp body apart. If you've seen the horror movie "The Crazies," you know what I mean. If not, there's a scene where a "crazy" has a pitchfork and goes into a hospital and stabs everybody to death while they're pinned to their respective beds.
MAN this is a long entry. I hope this surgery was worth it, I don't know if I'll miss UTD homecoming. I was planning to use that occasion to get to know a girl better. (I don't know which one, but it's just a good opportunity that shouldn't be missed if one can avoid doing so.) *sigh*
Time to play Starcraft II drugged :D
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