a jumble

i want to say something about my life, but i don't think i have anything much to say right now. maybe it will come out of me as i type this.

i see lots of people in my life, and all of their respective.... aspects of personality, i think is what i want to say. i'd like to say that i'm a better person now than i was, but i'm not sure. i'm trying to be the best i can be. sounds gay, and probably no word i can say now will change that. on the other hand, i guess i'm not trying to defend that either though.

back to the people around me: i've found someone who is so similar to me, and has found so many of the same interests as me. she lives in a completely different world however, so idk if a connection would ever be established. she has a lot to learn about awkwardness :D if she learns though, awkwardness isn't EVER a problem, because you know what causes it and can kill it pretty much whenever.

back to me being gay (jk, me being a better person): people do stupid shit. i guess what i'm trying to say here is that i'm trying to be more patient after people fuck up so hard that it affects other people around them.





another thing i feel is that i'm just blogging to be blogging...i've nothing else to do but let this storm brew and hope it kills tomorrow's math class. i hate math now: it's so difficult to understand, and i won't get anything out of it really. hopefully i can just PASS it; i've had 2 60%s on quizzes already, and those are the only two quizzes we've had so far this year. ugh. i USED to be a beast at this stuff.

i also just realized how much stuff i had on my ipod... music is amazing :) need new stuff though, and need to redownload itunes.

strangely i think joining a fraternity is the next step if i want to experience what my mystery person is experiencing. idk who to join or who will betray me (probably all of them, or they'll all be fleeting friendships or whatever) but i need to see and take that risk. i think. but doing and saying are two very different things.