recap:
got a laptop, and it's brand new and MINE. that's the most important thing; that it's mine. i finally have a portal to the electronic world that i can access at any time.
i love this thing :D
that is not the point of this entry however, i would like to think that i may have come up with a new sc2 name. at first i cringed at the sight of my initial capitalization, but i don't know how i'll do it right now any way. at least i'm not sure. the word however, is
revolution.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
something about
his character that's so irreplaceable.
i flipped through one of ben's FB picture albums today. it was pretty simple; he was riding a bike through some "erwin park" with shelly, but it was like i could see him there in person and feel his character right through the picture. idk what it is...
feels kind of like he could find something fun in anything. even the simple stuff. i really don't think anybody else has that kind of quality around here. everybody else needs tech or money being spent to have fun, and that's including the feeling you get when you've spent money.... you HAVE to have fun; otherwise "it wasn't worth it."
i think it helps him that he grew up poor and suddenly found a way to live with a lot of money, which is seen in his general dislike for xbox after a while, and his gradual drift back to basic stuff. for a while, he downloaded so many demos on xbox that he filled up 20gigs worth of hard drive almost instantly, but then the trend faded. i'm definitely jealous of that; to be happy around anything, even when times suck/are boring/don't have much around.
all he needed was a car. that's it. the ability to change places and he was set. that didn't bring anything for me, i still don't abuse it like i should.
don't know if i'll ever be that easily satisfied. can't really see it happening, especially since i hate most things in this world and get pissed off really easily at the little stuff, no matter how marginally imperfect.
i flipped through one of ben's FB picture albums today. it was pretty simple; he was riding a bike through some "erwin park" with shelly, but it was like i could see him there in person and feel his character right through the picture. idk what it is...
feels kind of like he could find something fun in anything. even the simple stuff. i really don't think anybody else has that kind of quality around here. everybody else needs tech or money being spent to have fun, and that's including the feeling you get when you've spent money.... you HAVE to have fun; otherwise "it wasn't worth it."
i think it helps him that he grew up poor and suddenly found a way to live with a lot of money, which is seen in his general dislike for xbox after a while, and his gradual drift back to basic stuff. for a while, he downloaded so many demos on xbox that he filled up 20gigs worth of hard drive almost instantly, but then the trend faded. i'm definitely jealous of that; to be happy around anything, even when times suck/are boring/don't have much around.
all he needed was a car. that's it. the ability to change places and he was set. that didn't bring anything for me, i still don't abuse it like i should.
don't know if i'll ever be that easily satisfied. can't really see it happening, especially since i hate most things in this world and get pissed off really easily at the little stuff, no matter how marginally imperfect.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
i didn't ask for this
BS. i came home to watch my brother play orchestra on GLEE/pizza/roommate bonding night (which i need to catch up on, they continuously watch things and do things without me) and end up having to put up with an annoying mom, obnoxious dad, and my grandparents. wtf?
i wish i would have stayed at college. screw home life. this is dumb. why should i put up with this?
my mom asked if i was hungry. i said yes. she goes downstairs. my dad ISN'T hungry so we don't go eat. apparently his vote counts more than mine. (troy is probably preparing for his concert, he isn't home.) then i go downstairs where i can get a snack since i can't eat at a decent hour because of my dad, where it's sprung on me that my stupid grandparents are coming. i hate being "pleasant" when i don't have to. screw this. i want some time where i don't have to be my public self. at college i can do this.
i swear my mom didn't tell me that they were coming but she said she did. my fucking dad now has the nerve to butt in and say "why are you so moody all of a sudden?" why do you think? not only can i not eat when 2 out of 3 present people are hungry, my grandparents are coming over and everything will be awkward (to the point of strange) for the night, until i leave. you're right, i don't have a reason to be angry. none at all. actually, i prefer this situation where i can just eat JUNK food versus having a real meal which would be healthy, and have sub-par company to boot! especially at my brother's concert, where i have nothing in common with the music that's being played except my brother. i don't even think he would care if i came or not, i don't think this concert is particularly important.
my brother is the only reason i don't just commit suicide today. i do not give a shit for anything or anyone else in this house.
also, i've reached a moral point that even surpasses my dad. i realized this after receiving our new phones. i like mine, don't get me wrong. i don't love it; i realize that we WILL find glitches, so i am trying to not go too hard on the drooling side of things.
unlike my dad, who every single time i've seen him since i got the phone has mentioned it, saying this exact line: "yeah, i think it's a really cool phone. you can do a lot with it." yes, facebook, internet, stupid scrabble-like games, and even a magic touch screen with "Swype" technology.
STILL JUST A PHONE. it's just a material thing. the next generation one will come out and blow you away just like this one did. except apple probably did it first and better, unlike our cheap knockoff version. but damn, we got a better deal, yes we did.
i'm really tired (as you can probably imagine) of all the small talk people do over stupid things like phones. they're phones. you use them. once my dad even said "you use the phone, don't let it use you" as he caught me texting while i did my homework. (i still made As that year, like every year, so he can fuck off, again) the thing is, he's letting this "smart phone" use him. he's on it all the time. i don't even care about mine. smart phones have been around since the iphone. it's not new to me. i still prefer real people to technology, and even though tech is a great substitute, it will never be the same.
the (edit:second to) last thing i will mention in this entry is the difference of being oppressed by someone else's plans and having so much freedom you don't know what to do with it. the prior sucks, that's really it. if you go too much against the trend, they ask you why you are doing that and you can't just say "well, i just didn't want to." you are literally stuck doing whatever is going on that night, like NOW.
on the other hand, being so bored that you don't know what to do can be fixed the instant you find something. however, it can be pretty mind-dulling as well.
the difference (and also the point i'm getting at) is that you can CHOOSE. like the underground man said, "even the most advantageous thing is not as good as doing things YOUR way. this is because it's YOUR way."
that is all for tonight, my dad just said "are you sure you don't want anything to eat? it could be a while before we eat a real dinner."
who's fault is that?
i wish i would have stayed at college. screw home life. this is dumb. why should i put up with this?
my mom asked if i was hungry. i said yes. she goes downstairs. my dad ISN'T hungry so we don't go eat. apparently his vote counts more than mine. (troy is probably preparing for his concert, he isn't home.) then i go downstairs where i can get a snack since i can't eat at a decent hour because of my dad, where it's sprung on me that my stupid grandparents are coming. i hate being "pleasant" when i don't have to. screw this. i want some time where i don't have to be my public self. at college i can do this.
i swear my mom didn't tell me that they were coming but she said she did. my fucking dad now has the nerve to butt in and say "why are you so moody all of a sudden?" why do you think? not only can i not eat when 2 out of 3 present people are hungry, my grandparents are coming over and everything will be awkward (to the point of strange) for the night, until i leave. you're right, i don't have a reason to be angry. none at all. actually, i prefer this situation where i can just eat JUNK food versus having a real meal which would be healthy, and have sub-par company to boot! especially at my brother's concert, where i have nothing in common with the music that's being played except my brother. i don't even think he would care if i came or not, i don't think this concert is particularly important.
my brother is the only reason i don't just commit suicide today. i do not give a shit for anything or anyone else in this house.
also, i've reached a moral point that even surpasses my dad. i realized this after receiving our new phones. i like mine, don't get me wrong. i don't love it; i realize that we WILL find glitches, so i am trying to not go too hard on the drooling side of things.
unlike my dad, who every single time i've seen him since i got the phone has mentioned it, saying this exact line: "yeah, i think it's a really cool phone. you can do a lot with it." yes, facebook, internet, stupid scrabble-like games, and even a magic touch screen with "Swype" technology.
STILL JUST A PHONE. it's just a material thing. the next generation one will come out and blow you away just like this one did. except apple probably did it first and better, unlike our cheap knockoff version. but damn, we got a better deal, yes we did.
i'm really tired (as you can probably imagine) of all the small talk people do over stupid things like phones. they're phones. you use them. once my dad even said "you use the phone, don't let it use you" as he caught me texting while i did my homework. (i still made As that year, like every year, so he can fuck off, again) the thing is, he's letting this "smart phone" use him. he's on it all the time. i don't even care about mine. smart phones have been around since the iphone. it's not new to me. i still prefer real people to technology, and even though tech is a great substitute, it will never be the same.
the (edit:second to) last thing i will mention in this entry is the difference of being oppressed by someone else's plans and having so much freedom you don't know what to do with it. the prior sucks, that's really it. if you go too much against the trend, they ask you why you are doing that and you can't just say "well, i just didn't want to." you are literally stuck doing whatever is going on that night, like NOW.
on the other hand, being so bored that you don't know what to do can be fixed the instant you find something. however, it can be pretty mind-dulling as well.
the difference (and also the point i'm getting at) is that you can CHOOSE. like the underground man said, "even the most advantageous thing is not as good as doing things YOUR way. this is because it's YOUR way."
that is all for tonight, my dad just said "are you sure you don't want anything to eat? it could be a while before we eat a real dinner."
who's fault is that?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
time to start
controlling my reactions to things.
losing starcraft pisses me off more than anything. especially when basel is laughing at the match, when it's his fault we're losing. no, i will not take it easy, i take this seriously. getting better isn't something you just "take easy." you don't get better that way.
it's 1:09am and i have no class tomorrow, so that's how i have time to write this blog.
since this is my blog (and therefore not designed for viewing pleasure but a list of my thoughts), i will now list things i need to improve on:
---swinging back from being harassed.
---multitasking
---find a decent answer to siege tanks without using siege tanks. -_- expand and add barracks?? works on big maps.... but on steppes what do i do? just default tanks against terran? :(( that's so boring. maybe a huge marauder push?? :P cloaking??? :) i like that... ghost, hmm. idk. nuking. entrenched position buster. idk. thor + marine + medivac??
---late game transition. what the hell do i do against late game armies like protoss?? colossi pretty much (sorry day9) HARD COUNTER marines. and i love marines. drops are too slow, and toss can simply warp in units as they feel necessary. vikings help my cause some, but apparently marauders + concussion grenades are the only way??? maybe tanks? thors? not hellions... raven!!! PDD vs stalkers. that sorta helps.
oh, and there IS critical mass of ravens. :)
how many marines does it take to kill one thor?
that is all for now, i need sleep. and a workout.
losing starcraft pisses me off more than anything. especially when basel is laughing at the match, when it's his fault we're losing. no, i will not take it easy, i take this seriously. getting better isn't something you just "take easy." you don't get better that way.
it's 1:09am and i have no class tomorrow, so that's how i have time to write this blog.
since this is my blog (and therefore not designed for viewing pleasure but a list of my thoughts), i will now list things i need to improve on:
---swinging back from being harassed.
---multitasking
---find a decent answer to siege tanks without using siege tanks. -_- expand and add barracks?? works on big maps.... but on steppes what do i do? just default tanks against terran? :(( that's so boring. maybe a huge marauder push?? :P cloaking??? :) i like that... ghost, hmm. idk. nuking. entrenched position buster. idk. thor + marine + medivac??
---late game transition. what the hell do i do against late game armies like protoss?? colossi pretty much (sorry day9) HARD COUNTER marines. and i love marines. drops are too slow, and toss can simply warp in units as they feel necessary. vikings help my cause some, but apparently marauders + concussion grenades are the only way??? maybe tanks? thors? not hellions... raven!!! PDD vs stalkers. that sorta helps.
oh, and there IS critical mass of ravens. :)
how many marines does it take to kill one thor?
that is all for now, i need sleep. and a workout.
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