alright, so i've accomplished:

- destroying lindsay armistead.
- pissing off kelsie kile. (who has both of her names hilariously misspelt.)
- blowing off some girl that was talking to me after the vball game.

mission definitely accomplished, when asked if i had done what i intended to do today: punish stupid people.

the reason i am so sad though, is that i haven't changed a thing. no progress has been made. it seems almost like you have to be adolf hitler to actually change the world, or some dictator equivalent. and i say change the world as in change it to my liking, not just change some dumb aspect.

i mean seriously, after being alone for all those years, i came out of my (carefully crafted ninja) shell and discovered the world. i hate everybody, with the exception of a handful of people. what the hell gives? being smart is a curse? inflicting suffering is a talent of mine, but being really happy isn't. :P

don't tell me...

i spent my whole life steeling myself for this moment where i could literally go up to people and say 'GO TO HELL!' and now i can't do it?

F THIS D:

i have irrefutable proof

that UTD is just as retarded as high school, and no less trivial.

case one: humanities teacher, Joan A. Mortensen. she has taken points off one of my papers for GRAMMAR, when only a few TYPOS were made. not GRAMMAR mistakes, or even really spelling mistakes. and then she writes

"not good written english"

on the side. fuck you, joan. wherever you are from, they must not good write THERE english either.

also, in engineering, the professor intentionally misleads us with the directions he writes, and blows through the lab overviews at top speed (also intentionally) so that we have to "work on our own."

idk about you, but for me, it really seems like engineering is a lot of "BS" and very little actual skill and knowledge, and that is not a career choice for me if that's the case. i have an obligation to be actually skilled and knowledgeable about the job i am responsible for, i am not a politician.




oh, and the trivial side of this comes from the engineering chapter (which i have to outline) called "numbers."

one line reads: "One use of numbers is for counting things."

i believe some genius Econ teacher at wakeland created a term called "13th and 14th grade?"

it kinda scares me

that you can be one person one moment and then another the next. i really like some aspects/persona of some people, but then their ugly sides always show and i end up hating them/at least seeing the truth. i have multiple sides too, don't get me wrong. it's always there.

i guess whoever has the best control of their personal sides rise to the top, have the most friends, etc. whoever has no control has nothing. :P

something lost

if somebody loses something, and gets it back, whether immediately or later, it doesn't matter. the person who returns it gets a quick nothing (a "thanks," as they call it) and that's that. no other sort of gratitude is given. it's sickening. :( ....so why return it?


i'm being used as a pocket. what gives? where's the limit? i'm so sick of this. time to get back at the world.

2 important things from today :P

first thing first: the ugliness of people demanding and imposing on other people.

this is disgusting. why would you do that? what happened to the golden rule? i mention this today because of the atrocity i witnessed as i wandered the ECS building. as i was walking to the bathroom, i happened to pass an elevator. it was about to close and go about its business changing floors and such, when a huge black "lady" yells out:

"HOLD THE ELEVATUH."

as she waddled towards it. she was in NO hurry, she simply DIDN'T want to wait again. so she made everybody ELSE wait for her royal slowness to make it to the elevator doors. amazing(ly appalling.).

maybe this fits under the category of "misery distribution" but idk, it seems too... selfish. i mean, you see people do things all the time like holding the door for people but if the people inside the elevator wanted to hold the door, they would have. she could have at least hurried, but it didn't look like she ever had to do that her entire life. she probably just asked for help as a "black person," and that really angers me.



POINT TWO----------------------------

ANECDOTE: (this is all spurred on by a girl (kailey) walking by (who i am friends (?) with) that completely ignored me, because i left her dinner table last mealtime. what i explained to clinton was, that even though i left, she was at fault. there were only two seats to sit down at originally (there were other people), and kailey and her friend took them. then, when a table was added so further seats could be arranged, i was suddenly sitting at the opposite end from her, with people i didn't even know. later, i spotted my roommates, and went to sit with them. )

as we were sitting at dinner today, (just clinton and i, nobody else was there yet, and basel actually never did show up) we talked about the state of people's stupidity. clinton argued that everybody was stupid in their own area of inexpertise, and i agreed. i added my own notion that it seemed that a very large number of people are stupid in all the same way. (and that really sucks, said the underlying message of the conversation.)

i slightly changed the discussion topic to all girls being stupid. (which is preposterous, i hate it when that phrase is applied to boys, so i qualified it with you (Hailey N. Nash) being the only smart one :D) i said that was ironic, and clinton didn't understand straight away; i clarified. after that, the climax: (remember, it's just him and i at the table, so he's talking to me.)

Clinton: "You know what i think sucks about your social life?"

me: "Mine? What about it?"

Clinton: "It sounds like you're still in high school."







damn straight clinton, damn straight.

this mario character is cooler than i thought.

finished being nice

to strangers forever :) time to fucking knock some people off their bikes and get them back to earth. nobody is higher than anybody else. get your shit straight.

i've never realized

how much difference the teacher in a given class makes.

i used to enjoy math, not anymore. my current teacher is an idiot, whereas my high school math teacher knew what she was doing and assured you of the feeling that you knew what you were doing. also, now i don't mind government so much, since i have a fun/funny teacher. in high school, she was SO DULL to the point where i hated everything she did.

just saying.

the faith of the people (in relation to achieving a goal)

is won on the following factors:

1. success. the thought, or memory of success is the number one motivator. if you have done it before, it can definitely be done again, no matter what the odds, the possibility is there. this is stronger than not having done it, but seeing that it is close at hand.

2. personal drive. if one wills it, there will be a way, sooner or later. obviously, the greater the task, the greater the wait time/effort required.

3. leading charisma. some people have an ability to lead others on to success. ex: jose mourinho. if one can instill the belief into someone else that he is unstoppable, then he will be unstoppable.

it is october 5th,

and there is nothing to report. life continues as per the usual, i'm an engineer! lol. just kidding, at least not an engineer yet. but in my everyday life, very much so as i continue the drudgery of slavery/hw. (actually, i think i only found the term "drudgery" because some blurb in my planner told me NOT to call hw "drudgery." in your face.)

yeah, so math is killing me, i'm probably failing government, and high school has shot me in the foot since day one.








THIS IS NOW ONLY A JOURNAL. NO MORE WISDOM COMES FROM ME. PERIOD.