Things have changed around

It's winter break of my senior year in college, two days in. You'd think, after putting up with tons of crap from everyone else and doing a bunch of schoolwork that I'd be ready to play video games and get drunk and be a kid again. Yet here I sit, almost procrastinating my gaming. Is that possible? Procrastinating your procrastination? I feel unmotivated for some reason. I don't understand. I just got done lifting properly for the first time in months, and I don't feel like doing anything. I don't understand. Am I growing up? I'm about to be happy just to go to grad school. I still have to apply and get in, but it's not so bad that I don't see it happening. Have I changed mentally, as I originally planned, to just be invincible mentally? I feel like I have these bouts of depression, where nothing makes me happy, but I learned in Thailand that this feeling can be replicated just by being so tired that I can't function and get extremely irritable. I can't tell which is happening. I still have to record the final blog before 2/12/14. I don't know what days are good for doing such a thing, hopefully I'll feel rather inspired soon.